Obama’s Opinion on Marijuana
Hit Parents Below the Belt

By Jim Berlin

President Obama delivered a casual kick to the groin of all caring parents with teens when he told The New Yorker magazine that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol.

Seeking regular-guy status, the reluctant leader of the free world also found it necessary to dredge up his own dance with the doobie, which will lead to the following exchange in thousands of American households:

Parent: “Do you know what happens to kids who smoke pot?”

Child: “Yeah. They grow up to be president of the United States.”

Ouch. Marijuana – One. Parental Guidance – Zero.

Words have weight, and to the masses, the weight increases as the speaker grows larger in the public eye. This is why companies pay movie stars and sports heroes to endorse everything from perfume to pickup trucks.

We equate celebrity with wisdom, with knowing something we don’t know, with possessing an insider’s knowledge of the way things really are.

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The correlation is a fallacy.

Barack Obama doesn’t know anything more about the dangers of marijuana and CBD vape than you or I or Joe Metuzzio. In fact he knows a lot less than the doctors, scientists and psychologists who put in the actual work of studying it.

The president owes a whole bunch of parental groins a big apology. More important, he needs to remember the weight of his words – before weighing in.

Syrian War Opponents Put U.S.
Between a Rock and Red Chalk

By Jim Berlin

The vast majority of homicides in any large city involve what police privately refer to as “A-holes killing A-holes” – gang wars, drug wars and senseless feuds between people whose combined IQs rarely exceed single digits.

Which brings us to the Syrian civil war, where America-hating President Assad is fighting rebels who largely hate America with equal or superior passion. A-holes killing A-holes.

Non-intervention for the U.S.would be a no-brainer if not for Syria’s possession of tons of chemical and biological weapons. If rebels gain control of the stuff it could be used against Israel or America.

The solution, some say, is to identify and arm only those rebels who support Uncle Sam. This is akin to asking Martin Luther King to go to a KKK rally and peek under the sheets until he finds a friendly face.

All of this puts President Obama in a tough spot, made even tougher by his reckless use of a piece of washable red chalk he took from one of his daughters. Mr. Obama used it months ago to  draw a “red line,” saying if President Assad crossed it by employing chemical weapons there would be “serious consequences.”

According to British, Israeli and our own intelligence services, Assad has done just that.

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The “serious consequences”? He now has chalk dust on the soles of his shoes.

President Obama, who wishes he had never taken that red chalk from his daughters,  says he wants even more proof of chemical use. He has asked those clever sleuths at the United Nations to investigate further. After that, he will ask the Boy Scouts of America and the Daughters of the American Revolution to look into it, too.

The best thing America can do in Syria is what she’s already doing: almost nothing. If rebels get control of the biological and chemical stockpiles, we either secure or destroy them. When you have A-holes fighting A-holes, no solution is ideal.

Grow Up: Obama, Romney
Not Running for Prom King

By Jim Berlin

I’m not going to break it to you gently: If you vote for either presidential candidate because he seems more “likable,” you would do the world a huge favor by not passing along your genes.

Seriously. Practice celibacy, use birth control, adopt – just don’t have any kids. America is already awash with people who base their vote on the same criteria they used when selecting the high school prom king: “OMG…Jason is so cute and dreamy. I so totally want him to be our prom king! OMG, OMG, OMG!!”

Listen to me here. We are not electing a prom king in November. We are electing a man who will lead the only country on the planet – the only one – capable of preventing despots, atheists, twisted religious zealots and people who are just plain evil from taking over the world.

People like that always want to take over the world, and for the last 100 years only this sweet land of liberty has stopped them in their tracks.

Put aside childish assessments of a candidate’s smile or sense of humor. Forget about which is more likable, accessible, or “seems to relate to us common folks.”

Neither Mitt or Barack will ever invite you over for Saturday barbecue. Neither Mitt or Barack will ever ask you to hang out.

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Neither. Ever.

But one of them will run this sweet land of liberty for the next four years. And you must decide: Which one thinks the America envisioned by men like Washington and Jefferson was a pretty damn good idea? And which one thinks preserving that vision, whatever the cost, is more important than themselves?

Both men conclude their speeches with “God bless the United States of America.” Look past the smiles and into their souls.

Romney and President Seek Support of America’s Dummies

 By Jim Berlin

Voters who identify themselves as “undecided” in a presidential race would have us believe they are deep thinkers, slowly weighing the candidates’ virtues and policies on the super-sensitive scales of their prodigious minds.

They are actually America’s lovable dummies – Larry, Moe and Curly — the dimmest bulbs in the electorate, the same poor boobs who appear in the “no opinion” category whenever that face-saving choice is available.

The political ideologies of Obama and Romney are obvious and opposite. To say you don’t yet side with one or the other is to admit to no ideology of your own, no world view. You are living what Socrates called “the unexamined life,” a life, he added, “not worth living.”

I think that’s a bit harsh. People with unexamined lives can still have loads of fun bowling, noodling for catfish (catching them barehanded), playing non-stop video games and painting their faces for sporting events. And it makes it easy to write their obituaries: a simple list of surviving relatives, a note about their nice smiles — and it’s done.

But the thing about undecided voters– especially in a tight presidential race – is they often decide who runs the country for four years.

Knowing this, Obama and Romney are faced with the task of how to win them over. How do you reach Larry, Moe and Curly? What motivates them?

First, they are personality voters. Do they like the candidate’s smile, the way he talks, does he seem nice?

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Would he be fun to go bowling with, or when you wade into the water to noodle a catfish, would you like him noodling right next to you?

Obama wins this category hands down. “I love noodlin’,” he might say. “Let’s you’n me go noodlin’ this weekend.” They would believe him.

Second, they are fear voters. Is the President going to take away what I’m already getting? Or, if I’m not getting what I used to, can the President give it back to me?

This is where Romney has a chance. Undecided voters who have lost their jobs and security under Obama outnumber the undecideds who like the way he talks and smiles. They are afraid that four more years of the same might bring four more years of the same.

Larry, Moe and Curly may be hungry for hope and change.