Truth About Benghazi Hearing:
Hillary Got Her Butt Kicked

 By Jim Berlin

Hillary came to the Benghazi hearing wearing the famous designer line of Clinton Clothing – Teflon pantsuit, Teflon bra and Teflon panties. She was slippier than an Olympic ice skating rink.

More important, though, was what we didn’t see her wearing: the Cloak of Invincibility provided by the mainstream media. Those same folks who brought us Barack Obama desperately want to bring us Hillary, too. They know she is their only shot at keeping the spirit of Barack alive for another four years.

She had to win at the Benghazi hearing…so they simply said she did. “Came Through Unscathed” they said. “Nothing New Revealed” they said. “It’s All Behind Her Now” they said.

They wish. What really happened was – her credibility got its ass kicked. She and President Obama – in order to keep alive the story that Al-Qaeda was on the ropes – told us Islamic terrorists had zero to do with Benghazi. It was that shameful anti-Muslim video that put the natives on the warpath.

The Benghazi hearing gave us the truth: On the very night our four Americans died, Hillary’s email to daughter Chelsea called the attackers “an Al-Qaeda-like group.”

Then the very next day she told the Egyptian Prime Minister: “We know the attack in Libya had nothing to do with the film. It was a planned attack…affiliated with Al-Qaeda.”

In any world not inhabited by a deceitful media and the Poor Dumb Bastards (PDB’s) on the lowest rung of the intellectual scale, those two revelations alone are incontrovertible proof:

Long after the smoke had cleared over the torn bodies of four dead Americans, Hillary and Barack looked us all in the eye and flat-out lied about who and what killed them. Not just once did they lie to us, but over and over again.

Do we want another four years of that?

Apology for Hospital Bombing
Sparks Orgasm in Oval Office

By Jim Berlin 

On Tuesday White House press secretary Josh Earnest said we would not apologize for the accidental U.S. airstrike on an Afghan hospital until investigations are further along.

That only made sense. First, Afghan soldiers had requested the strike, and second, anyone with an unbiased brain knows Americans don’t go looking for hospitals to bomb.

But Mr. Obama couldn’t stand the wait. On Wednesday he eagerly picked up the Oval Office phone and called the Doctors Without Borders chief to “apologize and offer condolences.” For good measure, our leader then phoned the president of Afghanistan to apologize a second time.

Presidential aide Joe Metuzzio, who was present during both calls, later confided to a reporter that Mr. Obama “appeared to experience an orgasm” while apologizing for the U.S. military.

“If he did,” Metuzzio said, “it would be the first known orgasm by a president in the Oval Office since Bill Clinton.”

Josh Earnest would neither confirm or deny that President Obama achieved sexual  fulfillment while apologizing twice for America in the span of a few minutes.

“I will say this, though.“ Earnest chuckled. “He sure had a big old smile on his face when he hung up the phone. Whether that was from you-know-what or just his normal joy over apologizing for the country, I’m not going to speculate.”

The press secretary did admit, however, that just moments after the apologies the president announced to the room that he was “dying for a cigarette.”

 

Hey, Pope Francis…
Don’t Be a Stranger

 By Jim Berlin 

While the residents of New York, Philadelphia and Washington D.C. might disagree, Pope Francis is mistaken if he returns home believing he has seen America.

During the pontiff’s six days in the USA he barely brushed the shoulder and squeezed the hand of this greatest of all nations. Granted, the cities he visited are vibrant symbols of our economy (NYC), our democracy (D.C.) and our revolutionary birth – Philly. But they are only three of the thousands of legs America stands and moves upon.

America is an idea as much as a place on the global map. And no one, including an Argentine priest living in the heart of Rome, can grasp on a brief visit who we are and how we feel about ourselves.

But he has discovered something about our heart and personality. We are a raucous, irreverent bunch, happy to welcome a pope who doesn’t pretend to walk arm-in-arm with the God almighty.

He is only a man and he knows it. One of his most common pleas – words he even spoke to House Speaker John Boehner in a private moment – is “Pray for me.”

No matter how large his entourage, Francis knows the journey is long and ultimately lonely. Like all of us, he knows he can’t make it without help.

So…we will pray for the man, and he for us.

And, Francis, anytime you’re in the neighborhood – the door is always open.

Is Biden Bright Enough
To Light the Oval Office?

 By Jim Berlin

Democrats who fear Hillary Clinton will have her baggy blue panties handed to her by voters if she is the nominee are begging Joe Biden to throw his hat in the ring.

As a candidate, Joe has one great asset and one great liability.

The asset: He’s the kind of guy you want on the next barstool or at the family BBQ or helping chaperone your kid’s birthday party.

He is the kind of guy who – if he showed up at your front door at midnight and asked to use your bathroom for a few hours because he had “the mother of all diarrhea” – you would say, “Sure, Joe. My house is your house. Cigar?”

The liability: Proper illumination in the Oval Office calls for a 100-watt bulb and Joe is, at best, a 60-watt. He might cast a warm, soft glow over the room, but he’ll never really light it up to America’s satisfaction.

Granted, just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re wise. But you can’t be wise without first being smart. And if Joe is smart, he is a master of disguise.

This isn’t to say that Biden – or any other well-meaning honest person — can’t win the democratic nomination and even the election. Barack Obama’s one true legacy is that he makes almost everyone else look better by comparison.

Even a 60-watt bulb in a 100-watt job.

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