LeBron James Endorses Clinton:
Murphy the Cat Picks Trump

By Jim Berlin

Thousands of basketball fans who didn’t know whether to vote for Hillary or Donald had the issue settled for them this week: NBA superstar LeBron James officially endorsed Mrs. Clinton because she “truly understands the struggles of an Akron child born into poverty.” Yes. He really said that.

While this is good news for Democrats, I have great news for Republicans: There are far more cat-lovers than basketball fans in America, and my cat, Murphy, has officially endorsed Donald Trump for president.

Murphy, who is easily as smart as LeBron and more politically astute, has communicated his choice through unmistakable body language. We watch all the news shows together, and whenever Hillary comes on the screen Murphy leaps from his perch and races to his litter box.

He then poops.

Contrast this to when Donald Trump appears on TV: Murphy purrs a fair rendition of the national anthem — then presses his cheek to the screen in a joyful

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display of affection and support. It is quite a moving thing to witness.

So…if you are one of America’s PHB’s (Pitiful Human Beings) who is swayed by how others vote – you have a hard choice: Do you go with LeBron James, who sure can dunk a basketball?

Or do you go with Murphy the Cat, who, as I said, is easily as smart as LeBron and surely more politically astute.

Make your choice, PHB’s: Poop…or purr.

How the Iran Nuclear Agreement
Made Donald Trump Top Dog

 By Jim Berlin

How is it possible that a poll of Republican primary voters has Donald Trump – a Neanderthal Man in a suit – leading the entire pack of presidential contenders?

To understand the extremes of politics and politicians, picture yourself in front of a grandfather clock as the pendulum swings left to right, right to left…

At the end of the arc, the instant the pretty brass disc runs out of gas – that’s when it’s the weakest. So back it swings, strength and momentum peaking in the middle then diminishing again as it heads for the other edge.

The closer a politician gets to the end of the arc, whether left or right, the less he appeals to mainstream voters as time goes by.

Barack Obama operates on the hard left of the pendulum’s swing. Even worse, as the first president in U.S. history with little or no love for America, most of his decisions are predicated on a desire to right the perceived wrongs of the nation he leads. That is why – in hopes they will forgive the storekeeper – he is willing to give away the store when dealing with foreign countries.

But then along came the nuclear agreement with Iran, literally signed while that nation’s leaders were marching in Tehran and chanting “Death to America!”

This was the final straw for many Republicans, and just as it was placed on the elephant’s back – here was another poll asking who they favored for president.

Donald Trump is as opposite as one politician can be from Barack Obama. He loves America without reservation, doesn’t give a damn whether his words give offense, and would not apologize to his own mother if he accidentally ran her down with his car.

The elephant with the broken back crawled over to Donald Trump and put him in the lead — but the honeymoon is temporary. Eventually the billionaire’s mouth will take him where no Republican will care or dare to go.

Trump will soon be gone. Tick-tock.

 

Why Joe Biden Believes
He Could be President

By Jim Berlin

There may be no wider gulf on Earth than the distance between our own self-image and how the rest of the world actually views us.

In its crudest form we see it at the Walmart when a woman of grotesque proportions dresses scantily in order to strut her stuff. As she waddles and wheezes past the other shoppers she confuses their giggles and groans for gasps of wonder and envy.

“They are in awe of my dynamite bod,” she thinks. “By gawd, I’ve still got it!”

Which brings us to Joe Biden. The vice president has made it clear in recent weeks he is seriously considering running for president in 2016. That’s president of the United States. Of America.

The human capacity for self-delusion increases exponentially when the human is a powerful politician. As a U.S. senator and now a second-term vice president, Biden has been treated with exaggerated deference wherever he goes.

The partisan applause is extended and enthusiastic, lame one-liners demand raucous laughter, weak jabs at the opposition are declared worthy of Thomas Paine.

And like the deluded Walmart lady, Joe thinks, “By gawd, they love me so. I could be president of these United States.”

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Dispassionate outsiders would tell Joe it simply isn’t so. While there is true affection for the man among political friends and enemies alike, there is also an intuitive certainty that he isn’t up to the task.

In short, Mr. Biden simply isn’t smart enough to be president. His is not the face we want out there in the world representing everything the country stands for.

But Joe will probably run. He will waddle and wheeze his scantily-clad brain down the aisle and strut his stuff. And when it’s over all too soon he’ll wonder what the heck went wrong.

There may be no wider gulf on Earth…