Harry Reid Loves Prisoner Swap
But First Family Still Fears Him

  By Jim Berlin

Barack Obama’s most ardent supporter on earth, Senate majority leader Harry Reid, today tearfully defended the president’s release of five dangerous jihadists from Guantanamo as an “heroic” action.

The Nevada senator’s emotional defense came as no surprise to Washington insiders. In 2008 Reid sought to legally adopt Mr. Obama, saying at the time, “I just want to be the daddy he never had.”

When Obama politely declined the adoption offer Reid countered by establishing a trust fund to finance the college educations of the president’s children.

“Now that we will accept,” Obama said. “But Creepy Uncle Harry, as the kids call him, still can’t come near us in the White House. The restraining order against him remains in effect.”

The “restraining order” refers to an embarrassing period in 2013 when Sen. Reid began loitering at night near the White House entrance to the Obamas’ private living quarters.

“I just wanted to get a glimpse of him,” Reid told Secret Service agents sent to investigate. “Maybe he’d see me and say something personal like, ‘Hi, Harry, how’s it going?’ I didn’t mean to scare the children.”

While the senator was clinically diagnosed in infancy as “non-human” (born with no trace of a personality), he becomes strangely emotional at any mention of President Obama. This has led to a game among the Washington press corps in which they unexpectedly shout “Barack” or “Obama” in Reid’s presence.

“It’s a gas,” one reporter laughed. “Harry’s thin little lips start to quiver, and suddenly he’s bawling like a big ol’ baby.

“It’s a sickness and we shouldn’t do it,” he continued, “but it’s the only evidence we have that the man’s not a robot.”

 

Obama a Lousy Horse Trader:
Swaps Terrorists for a Bad GI

 By Jim Berlin

In the Old West a clever horse trader could start off with a broken down nag and – through incremental improvements as he swapped horse-after-horse – wind up with a stallion any cowboy would be proud to own.

If President Obama had been an Old West horse trader he would have wound up holding the leash to a three-legged raccoon with one good eye.

The president’s latest trade was typical. He released five leading Taliban terrorists from Guantanamo – jihadist crazies who can’t wait to kill more Americans – in exchange for one U.S. soldier named Bowe Bergdahl. And this is a soldier in name only.

He either handed himself over to the Taliban or was taken captive after deserting his guard post in Afghanistan. Six real U.S. soldiers died in the ensuing search for Bergdahl, a man who later told his parents in an email that he is “ashamed to be an American.”

None of these inconvenient facts have dampened plans for a big welcome-back reception in Bergdahl’s hometown. The citizens of Hailey, Idaho are already hanging yellow ribbons and promoters say “thousands will attend” the ceremonies.

If someone were looking for a good place to unload a three-legged raccoon with one good eye, Hailey, Idaho looks like a great place to start.

Don’t be surprised if Mr. Obama is there when Bowe Bergdahl comes – not marching – but crawling home.