Longoria’s Obama Endorsement
Hopes to Capture Doofus Vote

By Jim Berlin

In a presidential election, celebrity endorsements – specifically TV and movie stars — are solicited by both candidates for a simple reason: the vote of a doofus counts exactly the same as that of a genius.

If you’ve always wondered if you are a doofus but were afraid to ask, here’s a test: (l) I am going to vote for Mitt Romney because Clint Eastwood recommends him, or (2) I am voting for Barack Obama because that foxy Eva Longoria says it’s the right thing to do.

If you answered yes to either question you are a doofus. Or, if you prefer, a dimwit.

Now, Clint Eastwood is a terrific actor and director and Eva Longoria is a terrific fox, but their opinions on subjects outside their profession are no more informed than yours or mine. They are not privy to special insider information available only to the entertainment industry. They do not know anything that we do not know.

They are simply famous. Which, as the ancient Romans used to say, doesn’t mean squatus.

Oddly enough many celebrities would disagree. Because they are accustomed to being idolized and rarely criticized by the doofus masses, they begin to view their

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opinions on virtually everything as suitable for bronzing. I suspect Eva Longoria pictures herself as one smart cookie. In her defense, she is a terrific fox.

But most movie and television stars become stars by acting, i.e., reading words written by other people. Smart other people.

The doofus is incapable of drawing a distinction; if Eva is speaking, the words must be her own. Therefore she is smart. Therefore I will vote as she suggests.

Don’t be a doofus. But then, if you are a doofus, you won’t know it until it’s too late.