ISIS Burns Pilot Alive…But
Obama Not Sure What ISIS Is

By Jim Berlin 

I didn’t know what President Barack Hussein Obama would say when asked for his reaction to ISIS savagely burning alive the Jordanian fighter pilot shot down in Syria.

But I knew what he would not say. Despite the fact that the first letter in ISIS stands for “Islamic,” I would have bet my favorite Bible – the one encased in Florentine leather – that the word “Islam” would not fall from those presidential lips.

My Bible is safe.

Barack Hussein Obama referred to ISIS as “this organization” – which is how you might refer to AARP or the ACLU or even the American Legion.

In defense of Barack Hussein Obama, he apparently has yet to be briefed on the true nature of ISIS because he went on to say: “Whatever ideology they’re operating off of, it’s bankrupt.”

I want to help Barack Hussein Obama here, so I will tell him what ideology they are operating off of: the Islamic religion. Like I said, Islamic is their very first name.

In the near future I’m sure Barack Hussein

Obama will also say that his “thoughts and prayers” are with the grieving nation and family of the burned-alive fighter pilot. His thoughts and prayers have already gone out to the families of beheaded captives from America, Japan, Lebanon, France, Iraq and Syria, so we can only hope he has a large reservoir of thoughts and prayers.

We can also hope Barack Hussein Obama gets better briefings on ISIS and Islam, or maybe even does some reading on his own. Because it is a good thing when your president knows – and will actually say out loud – who the enemies of his country are.

It’s radical Islam, Mr. President. Say it after me: Islam, Islam, Islam.

 

National Nightmare Isn’t Over,
But We’re Stirring In Our Sleep

 By Jim Berlin 

Before Tuesday’s election Democratic candidates ran as fast and far as they could from Barack Obama, but the president and his policies raced ahead and lay in wait in voting booths across the country.

There was simply no escaping the man.

All Democrats asked was for Mr. Obama to remain quiet and invisible leading up to November 4th, but his ego was having none of it. Convinced somehow and by someone that his popularity was untarnished, the president announced it was his policies that would be on every ballot.

Not the candidates themselves – not their message – but his policies.

He was sure victory was coming and he wanted to claim it. He would show all those misguided and mistaken Democrats who shunned his help how very wrong they were. He would show them he was still The Man.

He was right. His policies were on the ballot. And a clear majority of Americans – still convinced this is God’s country – announced they will no longer put up with a president who believes quite the opposite.

GOP victories in the House and Senate don’t mean the long national nightmare is over.

But the country is stirring in its sleep – and the White House is no longer controlling the dream.

Mr. Obama will have to work now with Congress – with America – if he is to leave any legacy worth leaving at all.

We’ll see if his ego can handle that.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow Shows Why
The President Loves Hollywood

  By Jim Berlin

Gwyneth Paltrow’s fundraiser at her home for Barack Obama this week marked the president’s 20th such trip to Hollywood, his favorite venue for enriching the coffers of the Democratic Party.

“As a profession,” an Obama aide confided, “Hollywood actors and filmmakers have two attributes the president cherishes above all others when fundraising: They’re rich as hell and they’re not very bright.”

“That seems a bit harsh,” I protested.

“I’ll give you an example,” he said. “When Gwyneth Paltrow was introducing the president to her guests she turned to him and said: ‘You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.’ Who but a Hollywood actress would say that kind of crap to the president of the United States?”

“How did Mr. Obama react?”

“Pure class. He realized Ms. Paltrow would be embarrassed when she looked back on it later, so he pretended it was a little prearranged joke between them. He playfully pinched her butt and said, “Gosh, Gwynny, you’re so beautiful I can’t speak froperly, either.”

“Well, that’s doesn’t prove all Hollywood people are dumb,” I said.

“No? Gwyneth’s guests paid from $1,000 to $32,400 to come to her house for the fundraiser. A grand got you onto the lawn to hear his speech, five grand got a photo with the president, and 15 thousand bought a photo and a dinner.”

“What did they get for the whole $32,400?”

“All of the above, plus…the president would actually speak a few words to you in person.”

“So they spent about $1,000 a word?”

“Like I said,” the aide smiled, “rich as hell and not very bright.”

 

Obama Says He Won’t Oppose
Return of California to Mexico

By Jim Berlin

Encouraged by President Obama’s tepid response to Russia’s takeover of Crimea, Hispanics in California are pushing for a statewide referendum in November on whether to secede from the U.S. and revert to Mexican ownership.

Operating under the slogan “It’s Fun To Be A Mexican,” the movement is being financed by Jose Rodriguez, millionaire owner of 10 Taco Bells and lead trumpeter of “The Sons of Pancho Villa,” a popular L.A. mariachi band.

“We have the brown hammer now,” Rodriguez said. “There are finally more Hispanics than gringos in California, and we long to lay our heads once again on the warm bosom of Mother Mexico. Viva Mexico! Viva Our Lady of Guadalupe!”

“I don’t have a problem with it,” President Obama told reporters. “California and other states were part of Mexico until the War of 1848, and frankly, that war kind of stunk. If the voters decide it’s time to correct this injustice, well, that’s how democracy works.”

Even without California, the president said,

“America has more land than it really needs. I mean, c’mon, 50 states, 49 states – what difference does it make?”

Mr. Obama cautioned, however, that he would not allow Mexican expansion beyond California’s borders.

“They can have Sacramento,” he said, “but I’ll be damned if they’ll get Las Vegas.”