Obama Says ‘Christmas’ Hurtful:
Wants Us To Call It ‘Ham Day’

 By Jim Berlin 

I’ve heard, that at an impromptu press conference with reporters accompanying him on his Hawaiian vacation, President Obama said he believes Christmas should no longer be called Christmas.

“Unfortunately, the word Christ is in it,” Obama said, “and many Americans – Muslims, atheists, witches – find that word offensive. C’mon, people, we’re better than that!”

The fear of giving offense, Obama said, is why his family does not exchange Christmas presents and rarely attends church.

“Look,” the president continued, “if we can call Thanksgiving ‘Turkey Day’ – which I strongly recommend – why can’t we call Christmas ‘Ham Day’? Muslims might find that offensive also, but it’s better than throwing Jesus in their faces every December 25th.”

“What about Easter, Mr. President?” a reporter asked.

“Easter? Oh…you must mean The Festival of Bunnies,” Obama said. “That’s a really fun holiday, and I love my hard-boiled eggs with lots and lots of salt.”

The president conceded that eliminating the word Christmas might be controversial,

 especially when he issues an executive order banning it from all government publications: “But like I said, shoving Christ down the throats of Muslims, atheists and witches is just not the American way.”

The press conference ended moments later when Mr. Obama boarded the presidential helicopter for a flight to a nearby golf course. But reporters heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight…

“Happy Ham Day to all, and to all a good night!”