Obama Is American-Born
But He’s Not Proud of It

By Jim Berlin

Hoping to bury Hillary’s charge that he was a force behind the birther movement, Donald Trump definitively stated Friday that President Obama was born in the United States. Period.

Where he was born has long been irrelevant. What’s vitally important is that he considers himself a child of the world first and an American a distant second.

This “globalist” philosophy (we are the world) makes for fun late-night arguments among bored intellectuals, but it makes for lousy presidents. America and every other country needs a leader who puts his nation first in every decision. Clearly, Obama has never done that.

Trump, so far, has not been accused of also saying the president hides a Muslim prayer rug beneath his bed – right next to his “I heart Kenya” bumper sticker. But the Muslim theory has more meat on the bone than the birther accusation.

If Obama is really a Christian he’s what’s known in the business as a “backslider.” He

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rarely attends services, his family disdains Christmas presents, and he speaks more often and respectfully of Islam than that little movement started by a Nazarene carpenter.

If the early Christians had the same fire in their bellies as Barack, the religion would have died shortly after the death on the cross.

The president is energetically campaigning for Hillary (whom he dislikes) because she will preserve and build on his We-Are-The-World legacy.

If you like that legacy – Hillary’s your gal.

 

How the Iran Nuclear Agreement
Made Donald Trump Top Dog

 By Jim Berlin

How is it possible that a poll of Republican primary voters has Donald Trump – a Neanderthal Man in a suit – leading the entire pack of presidential contenders?

To understand the extremes of politics and politicians, picture yourself in front of a grandfather clock as the pendulum swings left to right, right to left…

At the end of the arc, the instant the pretty brass disc runs out of gas – that’s when it’s the weakest. So back it swings, strength and momentum peaking in the middle then diminishing again as it heads for the other edge.

The closer a politician gets to the end of the arc, whether left or right, the less he appeals to mainstream voters as time goes by.

Barack Obama operates on the hard left of the pendulum’s swing. Even worse, as the first president in U.S. history with little or no love for America, most of his decisions are predicated on a desire to right the perceived wrongs of the nation he leads. That is why – in hopes they will forgive the storekeeper – he is willing to give away the store when dealing with foreign countries.

But then along came the nuclear agreement with Iran, literally signed while that nation’s leaders were marching in Tehran and chanting “Death to America!”

This was the final straw for many Republicans, and just as it was placed on the elephant’s back – here was another poll asking who they favored for president.

Donald Trump is as opposite as one politician can be from Barack Obama. He loves America without reservation, doesn’t give a damn whether his words give offense, and would not apologize to his own mother if he accidentally ran her down with his car.

The elephant with the broken back crawled over to Donald Trump and put him in the lead — but the honeymoon is temporary. Eventually the billionaire’s mouth will take him where no Republican will care or dare to go.

Trump will soon be gone. Tick-tock.

 

President’s New Jobs Plan
Written by Daughter, Malia

 By Jim Berlin

On Tuesday, shockingly just two weeks before Election Day, President Obama stepped up to a Florida microphone and proudly unveiled “A Plan for Jobs and Middle-Class Security.”

The Plan was a mere 20 pages long and included several blank pages with a heading at the top that read: “For comments, new ideas and doodling.” Reporters who received copies complained the ink was still wet, prompting the President to tell them, “Just wave it in the air a few times and it should be fine. If there are dry-cleaning issues, submit the bills to David Axelrod.”

What was not told to the press was the origin of the document, which as I said, comes shockingly just two weeks before Election Day.

“Funny story about that,” a source revealed. “A few nights ago the President went into his daughter Malia’s bedroom to kiss her good night. Well, he sees this typed report on her nightstand and asks her about it.”

According to the source, the following conversation ensued:

“It’s an essay for economic class, Dad. I just threw together all the stuff you talked about during the first campaign. I called it ‘A Plan for Jobs and Middle-Class Security.’”

“Catchy! Does it have my idea about hiring

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100,000 new math and science teachers and making rich people pay their fair share and building roads and bridges?”

“Oh, sure.”

“What about the shovel-ready jobs and getting 80 percent of our electricity from green energy?”

“Wind and solar, Pop – you bet. Damn that dirty coal, right?”

“Don’t cuss, Malia. Say, would you mind if I borrowed this? Maybe you could write something else for your class…”

“Dad, you always do this to me! Every time I come up with a good idea, you…”

“Hey, shush! You wanna keep this bedroom for another four years or not?”

Longoria’s Obama Endorsement
Hopes to Capture Doofus Vote

By Jim Berlin

In a presidential election, celebrity endorsements – specifically TV and movie stars — are solicited by both candidates for a simple reason: the vote of a doofus counts exactly the same as that of a genius.

If you’ve always wondered if you are a doofus but were afraid to ask, here’s a test: (l) I am going to vote for Mitt Romney because Clint Eastwood recommends him, or (2) I am voting for Barack Obama because that foxy Eva Longoria says it’s the right thing to do.

If you answered yes to either question you are a doofus. Or, if you prefer, a dimwit.

Now, Clint Eastwood is a terrific actor and director and Eva Longoria is a terrific fox, but their opinions on subjects outside their profession are no more informed than yours or mine. They are not privy to special insider information available only to the entertainment industry. They do not know anything that we do not know.

They are simply famous. Which, as the ancient Romans used to say, doesn’t mean squatus.

Oddly enough many celebrities would disagree. Because they are accustomed to being idolized and rarely criticized by the doofus masses, they begin to view their

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opinions on virtually everything as suitable for bronzing. I suspect Eva Longoria pictures herself as one smart cookie. In her defense, she is a terrific fox.

But most movie and television stars become stars by acting, i.e., reading words written by other people. Smart other people.

The doofus is incapable of drawing a distinction; if Eva is speaking, the words must be her own. Therefore she is smart. Therefore I will vote as she suggests.

Don’t be a doofus. But then, if you are a doofus, you won’t know it until it’s too late.