On Super Bowl Sunday…
God is Just Another Fan

 By Jim Berlin

While it’s a bad idea to lie anytime, it is especially egregious to practice deceit on a God-related issue. Yet, in a survey of football fans by the Public Religious Research Institute, 67 percent of respondents denied ever asking God to help their team win.

Liar, liar, sports jersey on fire!

As cameras pan the crowd during critical moments of this Sunday’s Super Bowl, you will see those smoking jerseys everywhere as fans clasp their hands, shut their eyes and move their lips in frenzied supplication for heavenly intervention.

We’ve all done it at one time or another – and we’re all wasting our time.

As a matter of policy, God refuses to involve himself in determining winners and losers – not just in football – but any sporting event. It is, for God, a conflict of interest…of biblical proportions.

Let me explain: Jesus says it right there in the Book of Matthew…if one of his followers has faith, even as small as a mustard seed, he can

tell a mountain to move and it will. Faith, literally, can move mountains.

The problem for God is that there are fervently-praying fans on both sides of the stadium – some with faith the size of a watermelon – and they’re praying for opposite teams to take home the trophy.

God has only one way out of this philosophical mess: Don’t get involved. Period.

So save your breath and save your prayers. On Super Bowl Sunday, God is just another fan.

Pastor Screws Up Obama Easter:
Risen Jesus Takes a Back Seat

By Jim Berlin

The preacher who can’t deliver a rousing hats-off-to-Jesus sermon on Easter Sunday should slam The Good Book shut and find a new calling – something he has a passion for.

The resurrection of Jesus is Christianity’s reason for being, the singular event that promises life everlasting for all who embrace it. Without the empty tomb the religion would not exist.

So one would expect, especially with the President and his family in the pews, that Rev. Luis Leon of D.C.’s St. John’s Episcopal Church would have sent his parishioners home with spirits soaring and hallelujahs ringing in their hearts.

Not Rev. Leon. On the happiest day in the Christian calendar he chose to deliver a mean little diatribe blasting the “religious right” for its alleged persecution of blacks, women, illegal immigrants and homeless whales. Only the whales part is untrue.

I suppose the reverend thought he would endear himself to the President, let him know this is a church he’d be comfortable in. Maybe he’d even start coming more than a few times a year.

Instead, he created a controversy when all the first family wanted was to attend services on Easter Sunday.

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What’s even more amazing about the pastor’s rant was his target: fellow Christians, brothers in Christ, believers in the same God-man. Leon is obviously a man of the cloth who has stopped asking himself, What would Jesus do?

Apparently the preacher’s head has swelled to celestial size since he was chosen to deliver the prayer at Obama’s January inauguration. He has decided he is The Good News now, never mind The Resurrection and all that other Jesus stuff.

It’s not going to work out for Rev. Leon. Pastors who want to be famous don’t have a prayer.