Nebraska Study: Men Look at
Breasts Before Faces. So What?

By Jim Berlin

After fitting test subjects with eye-tracking systems and displaying photos of curvaceous females, a University of Nebraska sociology study proved men were initially more fixated on breasts than faces.

Marriage-minded women who are deflated over the size of their tata’s (that’s Hungarian for breasts) might use these test results to convince themselves to spend thousands on augmentation surgery. They should not.

While most heterosexual men will automatically rate a just-met woman on a sexual scale of one to fantasy, this is a fleeting evolutionary reflex. Any man worth having – and isn’t that what women want? – quickly kicks aside his primitive reaction and assesses her potential as a mate by asking himself some questions:

Is she fun to be with? Does her curiosity about the world extend beyond the cosmetic counter? Is she kind to people? Does he find her physically attractive (not do others find her attractive)…and again, is she fun to be with? In the end, a mate who is fun to be with year-after-year is what all of us search for more than anything else.

Women who enlarge their boobaronies (that’s Italian for breasts) to attract men who think

Google images

large boobaronies are important, wonder why they keep winding up with losers. It is because these are men who are 16-years-old forever.

When Abe Lincoln was asked how long a man’s legs should be he replied, “Long enough to reach the ground.”

If Abe had been asked how large a woman’s breasts should be, I think he would have nailed that one too: “Large enough to hold her nipples.”