Toothpaste Bombs Just the Tip
of Terrorists’ Air Travel Threat

 By Jim Berlin

Homeland Security’s warning that terrorists may attempt to board Russian-bound planes with explosives disguised as toothpaste could lead to an eventual ban on the product for all commercial travelers – even in checked luggage.

While that will add another level of inconvenience to flying, radical Islam’s research and development labs have reportedly created other plastic explosives that promise even more disruption…

“They’ve come up with a substance that closely resembles common earwax,” a Homeland Security official told me. “And if that weren’t bad enough, they may have another explosive that looks just like nose debris.”

“Nose debris?”

“Buggers,” he said.

“But how much of that stuff could a terrorist pack into his ears or nose?” I asked.

“He wouldn’t need much,” the official said. “If he gets a window seat, and presses his big

Middle-Eastern ear or schnozzola hard against the glass – then detonates – it would be bye-bye birdie.”

“What can we do about this?” I asked.

“We’re currently training hundreds of TSA officers to look into everyone’s nostrils and ear canals,” he said. “It will slow the lines down a little, but if travelers just come to the airport 12 hours before their flights everything will run smoothly.”

“It’s a small price to pay for security,” I said.