Jenner Wants To Be a Woman:
I Want To Be An African Lion

 By Jim Berlin

Bruce Jenner has six kids by three wives, is worth $100 million, has loaded up on estrogen while having his Adam’s apple shaved, is considering having his testicles cut off and his penis transformed into a vagina and told us to call him Caitlyn when he came out as “a woman.”

And God help anyone who suggests there’s something funny about it.

God help me. I think it’s funny.

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce…If you want to spend your last decade or so on Earth as a woman, sort of, have at it. But why all the publicity? Why the cover photo on Vanity Fair as a glamour girl?

If it’s all that personal and sacred and important, why not just shut up and do it?

You want to spend your last few years as a woman? Hell, I’d like to spend my last few years as an African lion. A male African lion, which would allow me to keep my balls and my whanger.

I could even put on a lion suit and get on the cover of some magazine and tell the world, “Call me Leo – Leo the Lion.”

But I’m not gonna do that, Bruce, because I’m not a friggin’ African lion! I’m a human male with human male genitals and no matter how much I spend on the lion suit, nobody is going to call me Leo and really mean it.

What they’ll call me is a silly old man who should sit down and shut up and live out his life in the costume God gave him.

That’s what you should have done, too.