GOP Can Win Back Senate
Only If It Beats “Demedia”

 By Jim Berlin 

The Democrat-dominated media – I call it “Demedia” – lies in wait for loose-lipped Republicans like crocodiles at an African watering hole. In its primordial brain Demedia knows that sooner or later some careless candidate will wade in too far and drink too deeply.

In 2012 it was Missouri Republican Todd Akin, who blew his senate campaign by revealing a biological oddity only he was privy to: In cases of legitimate rape, he said, “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” (Yes, but only if they first consume the ground-up horn of a unicorn.)

Demedia pounced, promptly applying its Guilt by Association Law: All Republican males are clueless about women. No, worse…Republicans are waging “a war on women.”

Even Mitt Romney dipped a toe in the watering hole, suggesting illegal immigrants could begin a path to citizenship by first “self-deporting” themselves to their native lands. (Or – and admittedly this has yet to be tried – if we just nicely ask undocumented aliens to go home, they will.)

Demedia’s Guilt by Association Law is why the GOP will find it hard to take back the U.S. Senate in November. If even one or two

Republican hopefuls say anything stupid – about abortion, immigration, women, gays or income equality – the stupidity will be assigned to every candidate.

Republicans would be wise to take a clue from the “American Party,” a semi-secret movement back in the 1850s that was anti-Irish and anti-immigration. Members of the party were advised by their leaders to answer every questions with the phrase, “I know nothing.”

Naturally, they became known as “The Know-Nothing Party.”

Claiming to know nothing about everything would at least give Republicans a fighting chance against Demedia.

Would Hillary Clinton Rather Be
The President or a Grandmother?

By Jim Berlin

When Charlie Rose asked a coffee-sipping Bill Clinton on “CBS This Morning” whether Hillary would rather be a grandmother or president of the United States, a startled Bill did a spit-take in his cup.

Poor, sweet Charlie. What a pretty little world must live inside his head.

While good grandmothers have a value well into six figures, the position is widely and easily attainable. To become one, a woman must simply bear a child and then wait until that child also becomes a parent.

In fact, the longing to be a grandmother isn’t even a choice. It is an involuntary extension of the maternal instinct, a hard-wired element in human DNA designed to keep our species up and running.

So…while grand-parenting can be joyous and gratifying, there is neither a shortage in the position or any special status attached to it.

The presidency of the United States, however, is a universe all its own. Hillary hungers for the job as a starving coyote hungers for a chubby rabbit.

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Charlie Rose is a nice guy, but he is another of those smiling, talking heads who – rather than speaking truth to power – is happy just sitting next to it. Tossing out softball questions, looking for answers to reinforce his naïve belief that politicians are just regular folks like you and me.

Would Hillary rather be a grandmother or president?

Even Bill choked on that one.

Why Joe Biden Believes
He Could be President

By Jim Berlin

There may be no wider gulf on Earth than the distance between our own self-image and how the rest of the world actually views us.

In its crudest form we see it at the Walmart when a woman of grotesque proportions dresses scantily in order to strut her stuff. As she waddles and wheezes past the other shoppers she confuses their giggles and groans for gasps of wonder and envy.

“They are in awe of my dynamite bod,” she thinks. “By gawd, I’ve still got it!”

Which brings us to Joe Biden. The vice president has made it clear in recent weeks he is seriously considering running for president in 2016. That’s president of the United States. Of America.

The human capacity for self-delusion increases exponentially when the human is a powerful politician. As a U.S. senator and now a second-term vice president, Biden has been treated with exaggerated deference wherever he goes.

The partisan applause is extended and enthusiastic, lame one-liners demand raucous laughter, weak jabs at the opposition are declared worthy of Thomas Paine.

And like the deluded Walmart lady, Joe thinks, “By gawd, they love me so. I could be president of these United States.”

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Dispassionate outsiders would tell Joe it simply isn’t so. While there is true affection for the man among political friends and enemies alike, there is also an intuitive certainty that he isn’t up to the task.

In short, Mr. Biden simply isn’t smart enough to be president. His is not the face we want out there in the world representing everything the country stands for.

But Joe will probably run. He will waddle and wheeze his scantily-clad brain down the aisle and strut his stuff. And when it’s over all too soon he’ll wonder what the heck went wrong.

There may be no wider gulf on Earth…