Paul Ryan Convention Speech
Convinces Obama: Joe Must Go

By Jim Berlin

Even Democrats conceded that Paul Ryan’s rousing speech at the Republican Convention Wednesday was proof he’ll be a formidable running mate with Mitt Romney.

So formidable, in fact, reports have surfaced that President Obama phoned Joe Biden only   minutes after Ryan ended his address: “Joe, you saw it, Ryan’s speech?”

“Oh, yeah. What a doofus, huh? I can’t wait to open up a can of old-fashioned Biden whup-ass when I debate him.”

“About that, Joe. How’s your health? Been feeling poorly lately?”

“Never felt effin better, sir. Did I tell you how I’m going to open up a can of old-fashioned…”

“I want you to know, Joe, I’ll understand if you have to withdraw from the race for, uh, personal reasons.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying, Mr. President? Who could possibly debate Paul Ryan better than me?”

“I’m thinking Elmer Fudd, Joe. I got him on his cell during a late-night rabbit hunt

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and he’s agreed to join me on the ticket.”

“A rabbit hunt? Elmer Fudd?”

“Yes, he’s still after that wascally wabbit. But once you get past his bunny fixation he’s a very bright guy.”

“Elmer Fudd? You’re replacing me with Elmer Fudd?”

“It’s for the good of the party, Joe. He just gives us a better shot in the debate.”

 

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