Grow Up: Obama, Romney
Not Running for Prom King

By Jim Berlin

I’m not going to break it to you gently: If you vote for either presidential candidate because he seems more “likable,” you would do the world a huge favor by not passing along your genes.

Seriously. Practice celibacy, use birth control, adopt – just don’t have any kids. America is already awash with people who base their vote on the same criteria they used when selecting the high school prom king: “OMG…Jason is so cute and dreamy. I so totally want him to be our prom king! OMG, OMG, OMG!!”

Listen to me here. We are not electing a prom king in November. We are electing a man who will lead the only country on the planet – the only one – capable of preventing despots, atheists, twisted religious zealots and people who are just plain evil from taking over the world.

People like that always want to take over the world, and for the last 100 years only this sweet land of liberty has stopped them in their tracks.

Put aside childish assessments of a candidate’s smile or sense of humor. Forget about which is more likable, accessible, or “seems to relate to us common folks.”

Neither Mitt or Barack will ever invite you over for Saturday barbecue. Neither Mitt or Barack will ever ask you to hang out.

Neither. Ever.

But one of them will run this sweet land of liberty for the next four years. And you must decide: Which one thinks the America envisioned by men like Washington and Jefferson was a pretty damn good idea? And which one thinks preserving that vision, whatever the cost, is more important than themselves?

Both men conclude their speeches with “God bless the United States of America.” Look past the smiles and into their souls.