Obama Smokes Pot, Shoots Pool
While Border Crisis Escalates

 By Jim Berlin

The photos of President Obama shooting pool and pounding beers in a bar with Colorado Gov. Hickenlooper (his real name) while the Texas border is awash in illegal immigrants only told half the story.

Marijuana is legal in Colorado, and an employee of the tavern said Obama and Hickenlooper (his real name) quietly stepped outside and smoked some weed after downing several beers apiece.

“It was the president’s idea,” said bartender Estelle Easypour. “He obviously had a buzz on and he whispered to the governor, ‘Hey, Hick, you got grass?’ Hickenlooper then took Mr. Obama by the elbow and they slipped out the back door.”

Before being shooed away by Secret Service agents, witnesses said Hickenlooper (his real name) pulled a baggie and cigarette papers from his sock. Both men rolled their own and “rode the reefer” for about 10 minutes.

“When they came back inside,” Easypour said, “they were giggling and demanding popcorn, peanuts, hard-boiled eggs, whatever. They really had the munchies.”

When asked by reporters if he had indeed smoked marijuana, the president was defiant. “Sure, I burned one, I blasted a roach, I did a doobie – so what? I’ve got a lotta crap on my mind with all that immigrant stuff in Texas. Hey, you guys got enough pictures?”

The president then flew on Air Force One to Texas, but refused to visit the border. “I have no interest in photo ops,” he explained.

As usual, no one understood what the hell he was talking about.